It's not lost on me that my "regularly scheduled" posts on our car and my teeth aren't here. Consider this, then, a two-fer.

Our 2003 Honda Element at the Nearly 10 Month Mark

We love this car.

Two problems cropped up fairly recently. Back in September, we had the driver's seat bushings replaced - an infamous Element design flaw which caused the seat to rock ever so slightly now and then. I've noticed this is starting to come back a bit; we'll probably take it in for this within a few weeks.

The other issue was a nasty noise when turning in reverse at slow (parking lot) speeds. A sometimes loud clunking seemed to emanate from the rear of the car. It seemed worse after a rain, too. Two dealers checked this out and found nothing, suggesting that the sound was from normal movement of the brake pads. Given we've had two places look at it I'm mostly satisfied with this explanation and, as a bonus, the sound's been AWOL for a while now. We also chose to have the rear differential fluid replaced at this time given it apparently wasn't done yet.

Our HondaCare warranty expires in two months! Time to get everything fixed.

Other than these issues we think the Element is swell. It's comfortable, very roomy, and has a lot of personality.

My White Teeth

I whitened my teeth using Crest WhiteStrips back in February. The package claimed the results would last up to 6 months. I am here to tell you that this is not true for me.

My teeth are still a bit whiter, but drinking coffee daily has taken its toll and they're nowhere near as white as they were when I finished the 2 weeks of applications. They were never a gleaming white but were definitely, noticeably whiter and looked better.

I'm going to pin this one moreso on the coffee, for now, but it's a little disappointing. If I were to do this again (and I might) I'd seek out something that specifically addressed coffee drinkers like me.

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Open Wide

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The New New Ride

We have bought a lot of cars that we needed to part with, due to various circumstances.

The PT, which we sold in October (just last year!), was starting to have some major mechanical problems.

The Vibe, which we sold in March (just this year!), was not a good long-term solution - sadly - and wasn't comfortable.

The Beetle, which we sold yesterday, had a seriously checkered past and potentially was unreliable.

And yes, all of that happened in a nine-month period. Good god.

We really don't like buying cars. Really.

There are quite a few things I think I've learned from this entire process.

• First, Certified Pre-Owned is meaningless unless you're getting, say, a BMW (or even a Honda). A dealer took us for a ride with a supposedly CPOed car that really wasn't; it was really just a used car with a warranty. There is a huge difference.
• Second, slimy dealers are plentiful.
• Third, always check the Carfax - always, always, always - but remember it might not tell the whole story.
• Fourth, go with your gut. We dealt with 8 Elements total, and 2 of them gave off a really weird vibe. It's best we didn't go with either one of those.
• Fifth, and this is one I learned elsewhere, be ready to walk at any time. You're in control. It's a nasty game for sure, but you can feel free to walk out at any point.
• Sixth, bring a snack and some water.
• Seventh, be sure to get floor mats.

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When we last left our intrepid buying duo, their hopes were dashed. The orange Element was not only orange due to paint color, but to rust as well. And they had been given the cold shoulder by another dealer. Would they find the vehicle of their dreams at a price slightly lower than a Maserati lease at $1999 per month?

We arrived at Continental Honda in Countryside. I dropped Jeani off while I looked for parking; the place was packed so I ended up just parking in a kind-of-not spot. On the way in both of us spotted the Element.

Once we entered the showroom we met Stephanie, our only guide on this journey. Stephanie took us out to the car and let us play around with it and inspect it. The body was clean. Very clean. The interior was also very clean. There was a little wear here and there, but nothing abnormal. There is a slight separation on the driver's seat - much like the full-blown rip on the orange Element - but Jeani said she'd be willing to sew it. "I could sew it right now." At first, I thought she meant right then, which struck me as odd given we didn't own the car.

While playing around with the controls, I found the controls for the wipers, both front and rear. I squirted some washer fluid on the windshield and everything was fine. I then pulled the handle back. I looked in the rear view mirror and laughed out loud.

"What?" Jeani asked.

I pulled the handle back again and laughed again.

"What? What?" she said.

"Look in the back. The nozzle squirts out!"

And it did. The nozzle that was supposed to squirt on the rear window of our car would, in fact, squirt the windshield of the car behind us! I thought it was the funniest thing ever.

"We could squirt it at kids!" I said, referring to the non-existant kids on our street. We laughed a lot at this idea. "Or we could drain the system and put some lemonade in it!" Truly, this was a fun problem.

Stephanie copied our driver's licenses and came back for the test drive. I took a route I was familiar with in Countryside, heading up La Grange Road to 47th. "Have you ever test driven with us before?" Stephanie asked. "No," I said, to which she replied, "You're following the exact same route we normally take people on!"

The car felt good. It felt very good. The brakes - a problem in one we saw last weekend (sponge cake-like) - were good. It handled well. The engine sounded good.

We returned to the dealership and took another few moments to look the car over. It was then that I spotted the only real minus: the front tires differed from the rear. But everything else was fine, so we decided to sit down and talk about it.

I might add at this point that Stephanie was totally cool and non-pressure. She was available (except for one time a little later on), and didn't ram a thing down our throats.

We did the sit down and talked price. We had our ceiling, and after a few rounds back and forth - including the obligatory one with the manager (who wasn't a jerk, honestly!) and a "final" one wherein I thought we wouldn't get the car - they came down to our comfort zone. That was the good thing. We told them to throw in some floor mats, and we'd call it a deal. They said yes.

So we said yes!

The next hour or so was rather standard. Lots of signatures, lots of paperwork, lots of talk with the finance guy. Ultimately we decided to get an extended war... er, service contract that would cover our heinies for up to 100,000 miles, or March 2010, whichever comes first (2010).

When all the paperwork was finished we got to take all of our stuff out of the Beetle and transfer it to the Element. Then, Stephanie gave us the lowdown on the controls - something I haven't had happen since the PT as it's usually just "seeya" - and we did a final look at the car, which had been thoroughly washed and cleaned. It was only then that I remembered the lemonade dispenser on the back of the car.

No problem, though - we needed to come back for the floor mats, so they'd take care of it then.

With that, we drove off in our new, 2003 Honda Element EX 4WD OMG LOLFR. We got some dinner - after spending the entire afternoon at two dealerships, filled up the tank, and took the long drive back home. We got to take Lake Shore Drive up to Evanston. It was a beautiful, crisp, chilly night.

With that, our tumultuous car buying and owning experiences came to a close. The Honda really and truly is in it for the long haul - as are we.

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We had decided on Friday to check out the orange Element that was 35 miles away. When yesterday morning rolled around, I called the dealership and ensured they still had it. Yes, they did. Was it still $12,995? Yes, it was. Okay, we'll see you in a couple of hours.

Now, the funny thing about all this was that this car was at the Luxury Motors group out in Downers Grove. I have no qualms mentioning it, because the idea of us trading in a VW to get a Honda at a Bentley dealer is pretty amusing. "Hello! We'd like a Be.... Element!"

Jeani and I headed out after her morning appointment and some good Middle Eastern food. Unfortunately, said food was loaded with garlic so a stop at CVS to get mints and gum was necessary; my breath was kickin'.

We arrived at the dealership a good 30-40 minutes later. Now, again, this was a Bentley dealership per the site: Superior Motor Works. So you can imagine our surprise - and relief - when we saw that this particular branch of the car group was just a nondescript white building with cars around it. Nothing Bentley about it. They did have more than a few BMWs and Mercedes and, due to the lack of parking, I placed the Beetle in between a couple of 'em.

Headed in and met up with our contact, who took us out back to the Element. There it was, looking at us head-on. And the first thing I saw was a big gash in the front bumper. "Uh oh," I thought instantly.

It looked just like the gash that lived in the PT's bumper for years, when I rear-ended a car and smashed only the plastic bumper part into another car's trailer hitch. Same deal. "It's been in an accident," Jeani said. Our salesguy said, "No, an accident doesn't do that." What?

We were starting to get really disappointed. We walked around the car, and Jeani found more than a couple of scrapes on the passenger's side doors and molding. I walked around back and noticed, yes, a nickel-sized spot of rust underneath the nameplate. The rear bumper was also loose and cracked, and there was more damage on the driver's side.

We looked inside and saw that the driver's seat was ripped! Ripped, I tell you. We could see foam. At that point we'd had enough. We told the guy that we weren't interested and thanked him. "Why not?" We told him it was more beat up than we'd like and, frankly, it looked like it was in an accident.

As we walked back to the car, the bummed-ness levels were running high. We'd driven so far to see... a piece of crap. A car we wouldn't buy, ever. Visions of us driving a nice, shiny orange Element home changed into us driving a dirty, black Beetle home.

We left and headed to a gas station where gas was a whopping 14 cents less than it was near our place, and put in a few gallons. Then we sat in the car and discussed things, including how bummed we were. How could that guy say that car wasn't in an accident? "A child didn't just, you know, punch that bumper," I said. Jeani said, "It's obvious that it was - the car either hit another car or even a stationary object. That's an accident!"

We still had a list of all the Elements under consideration with us. Since we weren't terribly far from Countryside, I suggested that maybe we should look at the Jetta wagon. That was our other vehicle under consideration, and this would be our only opportunity to see it, really. It was an 04 with low mileage and was still under warranty. But, one of the Elements we'd had on our list was in Countryside too, at a Honda dealer.

It was decided then that we'd drive to the Honda dealer and check out the Elements they had - but new ones. The whole new versus used debate was sussed out in our car, with both of us raising good points. If anything happened to a new car, we would know what happened. We could stain our own seats (ew!), rip our own fabric, and make our own rust holes. It sounded good, actually.

But on the way over, the notion of new car payments just twisted my stomach a bit (as I know it did Jeani's). The final plan was to forget the orange Element, forget the green Element, and look at the used silver Element this dealer had. We'd also talk new ones if it was a big miss. 

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After work on Friday, I took the Metra down to Oak Park to meet up with Jeani in order for us to go see the green Element. It was a little surreal, since that was my commute for a year; it felt pretty normal in the end. I even needed to use the washroom in between trains, just like the old days!

Anyway.

The dealer with the E was the same one where we'd purchased the Vibe, so it only made sense for us to use the same salesperson. Earlier on Friday, Jeani had stopped in and looked at some hail-damaged cars the dealer needed to get rid of - including new ones - and strongly suggested we consider one of those.

We started with the green E, which was in fact there. Our salesperson was oddly cold and distant, though - during the entire first half of the process it was like we were bothering him being there. Jeani hypothesized that he was miffed at us since we only came in for cars that were well below market value. I agreed - it was certainly the case.

Our salesperson took a good 10-15 minutes just to find the key to the car, and then drove us over to the lot it was in. He then parked the car, got out, and didn't say anything to us. Okay.... We got out as well, and the salesperson gave me the key. So we started looking it over. The body itself was pretty clean but, oh boy, the interior.

To put it politely, it wasn't perfect. It certainly wasn't a pigsty. But there was a layer of dust on the top of the dash, the seats were stained (with what?) in various places, and the interior just looked beat up. We decided to drive it, though, and to my tin ears I could hear something rattling whilst driving - from underneath the car. We liked it okay overall, but I tell you that the interior was a huge enormous turn-off. I appreciated that we were able to test drive the car ourselves, but there was no gas in the thing: the gauge was on "E" the whole time.

On the drive we came up with a plan: we'd go see the hail-damaged new ones and consider them. Jeani had seen three that morning, and got a contact on the new car side. Once we returned from our drive, we informed our salesperson about this - remember, he'd been pretty distant - and his initial reaction was, "Well, you see, that cuts me out of the deal." Ultimately Jeani said that we didn't care how that worked out and we were willing to give him the credit if need be.

He went inside, talked with his manager, etc. and then we spent more than a couple of minutes trying to park by the new car showroom. (This dealer is in Chicago, and parking in Chicago is, uh, hard.)

Upon arriving, we had to wait a good 15 minutes before our paged salesperson - the guy Jeani had contacted - showed up. Once he did, he took us over to the new car lot where we got to see what was still there and, sadly, there was only one hail-damaged new one worth considering. It was an 06 LX (not EX, so none of the creature comforts we wanted) with modest but not horrible damage on the hood, running boards, a roof rack, a luggage bin on top, and the shiniest most bling-y wheels I'd ever seen. I couldn't stand the wheels; Jeani was indifferent. They were ugly as sin.

Pictures of us with a luggage bin we'd never use (hello, 74 cubic feet inside!) and shiny wheels driving to IKEA flashed through my head. No aux jack? No armrests? No sunroof? Sure - it was new, and had a warranty. The green one didn't.

So we drove it, liked it, and talked with our guy. He "talked to his manager" and came back with a price of $18,999 - way too high, and allegedly due to those damn accessories (we later tallied them to be a few thousand dollars.) Mind you, that was sticker. But we thought, you know, we've already been here for 2 and a half hours - yes, 2 and a half hours - and if he wants to sell a car, he'll work with us.

We asked him to appraise our car, and he wanted to push it off until Saturday. He explained that other buyers weren't around this late (8:30ish on a Friday) and we'd have a better chance the next day. Jeani had an appointment in the morning, though, so that wouldn't work - and given they had sold 2 of the other cars, it was starting to look like a "now or never" situation.

We were both just exhausted at this point. But we wanted him to appraise it tonight. He eventually agreed, took the keys, and we waited. 15 minutes later, he came back and said, "Our guy can't find the car!" even though we told him exactly where it was. He very clearly didn't want to sell a car, and we felt really miffed at this point. We both told him again where it was but then Jeani turned to me and said, "Wait, it's going to take another 15 minutes? No way." We both yelled out his name, told him no, and went on our merry way.

Both of us were bummed that we didn't have a car. I was secretly a little happy we didn't have the bling-y wheels. Upon returning home we looked at listings again and decided to check out an orange 03 that we'd seen the prior week. The good news? The price dropped by a thousand bucks, so it was now $13k. The bad news? 35 miles away in Downers Grove.

Jeani suggested (sorry, that's the only verb I have for her today) that we sleep on it but should go see it. I agreed. And Friday, our long sad Friday, came to a close.

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So the green one hasn't been sold, and it looks like it would work for us.

The interesting twist? This dealer also has some hail-damaged new Elements that are up to $5k off. We'll have to see them to really get an idea of how severe said damage is but, if it's minor, that would be a nice option.

Tonight after work I'll be heading out to meet up with Jeani, and it'll be dinner & car buyin' time! Hooray!

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So as spilled in an earlier post, we're looking at getting an Element. In particular, we've found a 2003 green 4WD EX OMG LOL that's in our price range. The only thing it doesn't have is keyless entry, which I can install myself. The nice things that the car has include the sunroof for the rear folks, an aux jack for the iPod (thank goodness), power everything, ABS, and respectably low mileage - just a shade over 30k.

This past weekend we drive four different Elements. The first was an orange (!) 03, and we liked it, but the Carfax later showed that the thing had been "serviced" a few too many times. We then drove three more at a nearby Honda dealer - versus the orange, which was farther away. Two were blue and one was silver with blue plastic panels. (Odd.)

The funny/sad thing is that between the trio of Elements, none had the exact feature set we wanted. The closest was the first one we tried, a blue 03, which had no keyless. Everything else was there, but the price was about $2k more than the green one we're kind of pining after.

We drove a silver one, though, and whoo boy, something was odd. Neither Jeani nor I can explain it: the car just had bad vibes. The interior plastic was a little more scratched up, and the brakes were like sponge cake. I'm serious. I think stepping on sponge cake has a better chance of stopping that particular car. (Maybe shortcake.)

Then, one more blue one, this one with remote start. I got into the car to drive it and instinctively put my hand on the door panel to adjust the mirrors.

Me: "Uh... this doesn't have power mirrors?"
Salesguy: "Sure it does... it should..."
Me: "Yeah, well, the controls... aren't there!"

The weird weird thing is that it didn't even have joystick controls - no sir. This was stick-your-arm-out-the-window mirror time! Ugh. Awful. Sorry. Hard to swallow. And the remote start... visions of Honda dealers telling me the warranty was voided were dancing through my head. In the end, the blue one felt like a base model that someone modestly pimped out.

Unfortunately we didn't get a car Saturday. We tried. But you can't buy a car solely on emotion and, the fact that there were weird features missing on each one made us gunshy.

However, if the green one is sold and we don't like a Jetta wagon we're expecting to look at on Friday, the first blue one is a suitable backup.

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We have made a fairly definite decision on our next vehicle. And it's going to surprise a lot of people.

I never thought I'd covet an SUV. But the Honda Element is, well, just a damn good car.

And the impressive/interesting thing is that the gas mileage? Is pretty much what we're getting now with the Beetle. So for no penalty on MPG - but yes, no improvement - we can get a ton more space. Space for what? Well, a pooch. Or kids, someday. Or both. Or boxes from IKEA. I mean, we were able to get our IKEA kitchen table and chairs in the Beetle (certainly an admirable feat) but it involved lots of measuring. It sure would be handy to just put stuff inside a car.

Why the Element? I wasn't sure about its design at first (and the suicide doors are easily my least favorite feature) but the interior is very impressive. I haven't been in many Hondas, by the way, but it was top-notch. It feels like it can stand up to a lot of abuse. We both liked the driving position and comfort. I liked the Aux jack for the iPod, as well as the reclining rear seats. Just great.

And it's a Honda, so it's going to run forever. Believe it or not, but that's our motivation when buying cars - we really DO want to run them into the ground. The Vibe turned out to be physically uncomfortable and the Beetle is saddled with a checkered past that makes us afraid to commit to it.

I never thought I'd drive or like an SUV. But I like this one.

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PS: Nothing's definite until it happens, but the Element is my current fave.

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