5

It was a pretty rough day already. I had quit my job, in a fit of that independent spirit, just a couple of weeks prior. I planned on meeting an apartment company downtown regarding an apartment that cost over $1000 per month, and somehow convince them that an unemployed web designer could enter into a lease just fine. I knew I just wanted out of my Elmhurst apartment, with its roaches and ick. And I was depressed - all my job prospects had fallen through.

I got up early and planned to drive downtown. I turned on the radio in my bedroom, picked it up, and set it on the floor outside my bathroom (no outlet in there). XRT was on, and Mary Dixon reported: "Apparently a plane has crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. Details are forthcoming." They then played R.E.M.'s "Orange Crush".

I showered and shaved, and didn't hear anything on the radio. A song was on when I came out so I put it back in the bedroom, changed, and headed into the kitchen to make some coffee. After that I started up my computer and turned on the TV.

I didn't turn it off until that evening.

I sat there, watching TV and then reading stuff on the web, trying to digest everything. And when the second plane hit, my gut just dropped. I was astounded. Was this real? This was really happening. Here. In the US.

So many emotions flew through my head. I remember IMming extensively with Mena, checking in with others, checking MetaFilter religiously (and posting to it every time there was an update), and just trying to get information. So much was happening all at once - it felt like the whole world was unglued. My personal needs and wants just kind of vanished.

Jeani called me from her work and told me that everyone was being sent home; she didn't want to be in the city and came out to stay with me that night. That day she had been scheduled to fly for work to DC, of all places, and I still can't articulate the incredible terror I'd feel if she was actually in an airplane that day.

We watched a lot of news that day. Everyone was running news. MTV, Spike, Food Network... everyone. It was remarkable, and still is. Sometime around dinner time we decided (mostly Jeani decided) that we needed to get out of the house and get away from the persistent news. And so we drove out to Baker's Square for dinner.

Everything was empty. So strange. Streets normally packed with cars were deserted. Yorktown Mall, Oakbrook Center... empty. Everything, just empty. We were one of two couples in the whole restaurant, and we could hear the TV in the back room from our seat. We couldn't get away from it. We ate and tried to think about other things.

That night as we went to sleep, I remember feeling totally unsecure for the first time in my adult life. I really was scared, genuinely scared: would I wake up tomorrow? Would something happen to Chicago? Could it? What next? What can top this? How will things change? Everything raced through my head.

I held Jeani close to me, and we fell asleep.